How To Handle The Painful Emotions

  

How to Deal With Painful Emotions

I used to suffocate my negative emotions as far as possible rather than confront them. 

With a fake smile, I would reassure worried friends and relatives that I was alright. 

I’d go about my life and tell myself that I was okay despite the breakup, the setback, the bad news, whatever I was dealing with at the time.

But finally, time and time again, every one of those emotions would surface and blow up in my face. 

Finally, I realized that suppressing my emotions wasn’t the answer—if I wanted to truly heal, I needed to truly feel.

Jessica Moore, an emotion consultant, teaches people how to change unhelpful emotional recurring patterns and discover better techniques for managing their emotions. 

Moore claims that many of us might greatly benefit if we would simply yield to our feelings rather than fighting them. He claims that very few of us know how to appropriately confront our feelings. 

“Everywhere I look, it seems that people are struggling with their emotions,” she says. “Our emotional health is key to our happiness, relationships, success, and ability to navigate our social world, and yet schools spend almost no time educating us around emotions. And when we end up with emotional problems, most treatments focus on getting rid of what we are feeling, as if the emotions themselves are the problem.

The idea that all feelings save happiness and joy are bad and should be avoided is one that is largely perpetuated by the lessons we are taught about emotions. 

These beliefs about negative emotions, far from fostering emotional intelligence, position us for severe psychiatric dysfunction. 

We struggle with ourselves to feel something other than what we truly feel, and as a result, we repress emotions that are necessary for us to operate in the outside world. 

People who have internalised the idea that anger is wrong, for example, frequently struggle to establish healthy limits.

Confronting Your Feelings: 5 Tips

1) Pause and reflect. When you find yourself facing difficult emotions, the first thing you should do is take a moment to think: What am I feeling? Where am I feeling it? Oftentimes, difficult emotions are accompanied by physical sensations, such as a tightness in the throat or butterflies in the stomach. Acknowledge these feelings in addition to your emotions.

2) Ask yourself, “why?” You should also take your time in exploring why you feel the way that you do. Why do you feel angry or frustrated? Why are you upset or nervous? It’s okay to not be okay, but exploring what has triggered these emotions can help you handle them more effectively.

3) Write it down. Writing your feelings down will help you better understand your feelings as well as confront those emotions. Furthermore, those journal entries will serve as a great resource for the next time you experience these painful emotions.

4) Open up to a trusted friend. If you feel comfortable doing so, opening up to a trusted friend or family member will also help you feel out those emotions. Your loved ones can offer love, support, and advice, which will provide you with comfort and help you move forward.

5) Let it go. Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel and understand your emotions, give yourself permission to let them go. Don’t torture yourself each day by reliving the anger, anxiety, discomfort, or pain that you felt—instead, once you’ve reached a healthy place, allow yourself to be okay again.