Teaching Kids How To Behave When At Friends House

  


When you have kids, it's often easier to socialize at friends' homes than at restaurants, malls, or movie theaters. But even at someone else's home, you'll probably have higher expectations of your child than in your own home, especially if you're visiting friends who don't have kids.

A few suggestions for managing a friendly visit:

Lay down the ground rules. Explain to your child before you go that you'll expect her to keep her feet and shoes off the furniture, and that running indoors is not allowed.

Reduce surprises. It can be helpful to brief your child on what will likely happen during the visit: "Mommy, Daddy, and Mr. and Mrs. Jones will sit in the kitchen and have coffee, and you and Jane will probably play in the family room."

Create distractions. If you're visiting a home where no kids live, it's smart to bring something for your child to occupy herself with, such as books, small games, or coloring books.

Know the code. You might want to establish a signal beforehand to let your child know that a behavior isn't appropriate and must end. Show her that when you tug at your ear, for instance, that means stop. This way, you can warn her without embarrassing her.

If your child doesn't notice your warnings or really goes off the rails, you may need to forget about avoiding embarrassment and take her outside for a nerve-soothing run around the yard before gently reminding her of your expectations.

Avoid collateral damage. While you can't expect your hosts to childproof their house for you, take a glance around the area where your child will be to check for breakables or hazards.

"Just say, 'That's a beautiful china bird, but I know my daughter will want to touch it. Can I put it up on this shelf to keep it safe?'" says Cindy Post Senning, Emily Post's great-granddaughter and the author of the manners picture book Emily's Magic Words: Please, Thank You, and More. If there are too many treasures to deal with, it's fine to ask whether you can all sit outside or move to another room with fewer breakables.

By age 2, many kids can:

  • have a general understanding that the rules for other people's homes can be different from the rules at their home

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