Should Women Submit To Their Man

 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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Authority and God’s Design

In each of the three sections of Paul’s household code (Eph. 5:22–33; 6:1–4; 6:5–9), he first addresses those who are under authority (wives, children, and slaves) before addressing those in positions of authority (husbands, parents, and masters). Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands. The words “your own” (idios) indicate that Paul is addressing “wives” and not “women” generally.

They also indicate that a wife is not expected to submit to everyone’s husband, but specifically her own husband. The use of the middle voice of the verb (carried over from Eph. 5:21) emphasizes the voluntary nature of the submission. In other words, Paul says that a wife is to submit willingly to her husband but nowhere does he say that husbands are to demand submission from their wives, because they should not need to do so. Next, Paul offers a comparison (“as to the Lord”), which provides motivation for women’s submission to their husbands. When a woman voluntarily submits to her husband, she is simultaneously submitting to the Lord.

Paul then offers a reason why wives should submit to their husbands. He says, “For the husband is the head of the wife” (Eph. 5:23). A wife should submit to her husband because God has placed the husband in a role of authority over his wife. “Head” here clearly represents “authority over” and not “source” (Eph. 1:22; 4:15). Notice that Paul does not base his argument on culture or societal norms. Instead, he bases it on the God-appointed leadership role given to the husband (1 Cor. 11:3–12; 1 Tim. 2:11–13). Submission does not imply an inherent inferiority. Christ is equal in status to the Father but willingly submits himself to his Father’s will (1 Cor. 15:28). In the same way, women are equal in value and worth to men, since both are created in God’s image. But, based on God’s design, men and women assume different roles in the marriage relationship. Again Paul draws a comparison: “as Christ is the head of the church.” Christ is the head of the church in a way analogous to the husband’s being the head of his wife. Paul further clarifies that the church is Christ’s “body,” an image used earlier in Ephesians (Eph. 1:23; 2:16; 4:4, 12, 16). Christ relates to the church as “its Savior,” as he redeemed her for himself.

ESV Expository Commentary

With contributions from a team of pastors and scholars, this commentary through 9 of Paul’s letters helps students of the Bible to understand how each epistle fits in with the storyline of Scripture and applies today.

Ephesians 5:24 restates the previous admonition by reversing the order: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Just as the church voluntarily submits to Christ, so also wives should freely and willingly submit to their husbands. The prepositional phrase “in everything” should not be taken absolutely, since a wife should not submit to her husband in matters that are sinful, harmful, or contrary to God’s commands (Acts 5:29). And yet these words are not conditioned on the husband’s love for his wife. Although there may be exceptions, the focus of the passage is on the importance of the wife’s willing submission to the leadership of her husband (even if her husband is an unbeliever).

Self-Sacrificial Love

After commanding wives to submit to their husbands, Paul turns his attention to the husbands by commanding them to love their wives. Based on other ancient texts, it is somewhat unexpected that Paul urges husbands to love their wives instead of urging them to rule over or domineer their wives. In extrabiblical Jewish literature, husbands were rarely exhorted to love their wives, and the verb “love” (agapaō) was never used in Greco-Roman household codes in relation to the duties of husbands. Here the command is to follow Christ in the way of love. The fact that this exhortation is repeated signifies its importance 

The manner in which husbands should love their wives is compared to the way “Christ loved the church” (Eph. 5:25). Christ’s love for his bride (the church) becomes the standard by which a husband should love his bride. Specifically, Christ’s love is most clearly demonstrated in how he “gave himself up for her.” His love was self-initiated and self-sacrificial. The parallel, however, should not be pressed. A husband should be like Christ with his self-sacrificing love, but he does not die in her place, nor does he sanctify or cleanse her. He should, however, be willing to sacrifice everything to protect and care for his wife.